that everything in our relationship was my fault. I mean, I know I fucked it up in the end, but did I really fuck it up that much when we were together? Did I really mess everything up so badly that you would never want to be with me again? Everyone makes mistakes... I know when we broke up my mistake was big, but no one has ANY idea how much I regret that. And if you know me well at all, you know I don't regret anything in life. But this I do. I regret the last 8 months of my life basically. I wish I could just rewind it all. Or that you'd give me another chance. I would be so much better this time around. I wouldn't need you to support me financially. I know how much that stressed you out and ultimately killed our relationship. I wouldn't be so lame as to stay in the house all the time, and smoke pot with my friends as often. I would change my entire life for you if you gave me the chance again. I just miss everything we had and despite the fact that you say we're not made for each other, I believe we are. I've never loved anyone as much as you. I've never been happier than with you. I just wish you would believe that.
But now you have someone new in your life. Someone better than me, apparently. I wish I could sincerely say I'm glad you're happy, but on the inside, I'm not, because I want to be the one to make you happy. I want to be the one to love you, kiss you, hold you, go out with you, go on random drives with you. I would do anything with you that you wanted. I would be so much better to you the second time around. Because with this time apart I've realized what a shitty girlfriend I was. I really do. And I know you know it too. I just wish I could do something so you'd know how sincere and honest I'm being.
You know I never wanted to get married before or have kids. I would do that for you. I would be HAPPY to do that for you. I was so scared to propose and that's part of what I was running away from. I felt so tied down. I didn't want that :/ And I still don't, but we could be different this time. I could be different. I promise.
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