Day 5.

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.

Freshman-ish year. Sophomore too.

I was sick of everything. All of my friends had gone to different schools from middle school, and the ones that I DID still have, started branching off and making new friends, and I felt like I had no one. There were kids at school who teased me for no reason. They would honk at me when I was walking home and yell random stuff out the windows. They would spread stupid rumors at school and tell the guys I liked dumb stuff. And the funniest thing- I hadn't EVER had a conversatin with these people. Knew OF them , but didn't KNOW them. I hated home, I hated school, and I didn't have anywhere else to go but church. And I know this sounds ridiculous to some of you, or cliche or whatever, but the church was my home. As depressed as I was half the time, it always cheered me up going to youth group and being with my friends there. High school was so much drama, and you have such a need to fit in because everyone is judging you, but at church it was different. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, it's hard to explain.

But anyway, I was on the edge, i wanted to end my life. I didn't think I had anything to live for because my friends didn't love me, (and at 14 that's all that matters, it seems), I was bullied, and I was ALWAYS sad. Then I met my youth leader, Audrey. Granted, I had lots of amazing leaders throughout youthgroup, but Audrey and I somehow connected. She understood me, and she loved me and that's all I needed. Audrey encouraged my writing, she helped me with my school work, she gave me somewhere to get away to. She's pretty much my hero :) Thus, my depression ended and now i am happy! Okay, so there's a lot more to what happened and what I went through, but I'm tired and don't feel like writing a novel. :)